JAM Creations

Facing Addiction.

1-30-09

I fell asleep

with your aroma lingering

on my heart

Every breath in was

a new experience.

Your scent seduces my body

with every heart pulse,

intoxicating my system.

It won’t be long now

before my addiction

whispers for me to inhale you in

bringing my senses

one step

closer to ecstasy.

Lawerence King.

Have you heard of Lawrence King

Shot today in school

The gun fired softly

I heard no fatal blow

In the court yard

In February snow.

The shot hit him squarely

Painted a rainbow

Of blood in February snow

Could his death have been prevented?

Will anyone ever know?

There laid Lawrence King

Shot with hatred in February snow.

I heard he planned on college

On life away from this freak show

I heard him talk about his dreams

On moving to California

He said he hated February snow.

The snow lifted his body

Above the perverse ground below.

There laid Lawrence King

Dead and gay in February snow.

Note: http://www.rememberinglawrence.org/

Crashing Heartbreak.

senior year

I worry about the future,

do you not see this crashing wave?

its peak is now and I fear somehow

the fall cannot be saved.

The wind is changing and I feel

the heart’s beat speed up and down.

Yet there you are – you seem so far,

I’m yelling for you but there’s no sound.

Fear consumes me. I shake with excitement.

The world is my unwritten book.

You are a chapter; can you be the plot rather

than someone whose heart I took.

So young and beautiful, so much time to make up.

Where do we go from here?

For the first time, I don’t have a line,

this situation begs to remain unclear.

The Murder of the Rose.

senior year

look sister, quick sister

do you see what I have wrecked?

by accident, sweet accident,

there I did it while clearing weeds

it was your flowers I was trying to protect.

stomp left, step right

there stood one magnificent flower

one rare rose (unpicked pride)

and the Bee hissed in my ear

the feeling of jealousy raged inside.

we stared each other down

the rare rose and I

it flawed no visible flaw

but the Bee breathed buzzing

and I felt the control before me.

raw.

Shamefully, I picked the rare rose

before its well deserved time

in its outstanding prime

my mind seasoned my fatal actions

to make believe. I pulled a weed.

No one would believe your rose was real.

And its murder was my gardener’s deed.

I look at you sometimes
    amazed
that you’ve had some of
    the experiences
you’ve had.
I look at you and know
    that you’re one of those
special individuals,
    one of those people who
        make an impact on life.
    My life.
I am cocky.
    I feel smug knowing that I’m
intelligent enough to not let you walk
   relaxed by going places
    through my life
    without me taking full advantage
   of all the joys
Your friendship brings to me.
Be relaxed but those places you go?
    Let me follow;
        Your pace soothes my soul.

sunlight.

sunlight,
    rays and sparks
    revealing, healing
    breathing life into
        nature, worlds, thoughts, smiles.
the warmth is contagious.
    spread thickly
like my grandma’s quilt
    encompassed in safety.
when a spirit falls
    the sun guides them through
the light-lits shadows
    nightmares flee from insecurity
    good glides in the bright wake.

sparks and fireworks.
candlelight and lighters.
sundial.
    reveal time to tell.
    life is lived well.

Catch Me.

10-13-09

She dropped me

let me fall and then

caught me

before I crashed

and then she

dropped me

again.

and she caught me quicker

this time around.

i was comfortable.

she dropped me

once

and i felt reassured she would

catch me

but she let me fall

and

shatter.

i lay broken and openly damaged.

she became my killer of layers.

my trust used to be given, not earned.

now it’s on guard and reserved.

i wait for the day you let me

fall

and don’t step in to

catch me.